Just get MAD. Really MAD.

Leaving the hospital with my two babies

Florida and at my twins first birthday party!

This is NOT about gloating about myself or bragging but it's my journey that I've worked very hard for. I know there are PLENTY of people feeling some similar feelings and maybe reading my journey could help. If I can help one person, just one person I will feel like I saved the world!

My mission is not an image or about being skinny (even though fitting in jeans I could only dream of does make me feel pretty good) it's all about being healthy and feeling healthy. I do not want my children seeing me eat crap food (I do have special days for treats, I'm not perfect) but I want to encourage them to watch important information on the things they eat and to READ THE LABELS OF WHAT YOU EAT! I also want them seeing me happy and full of energy. I always wanted to be a young mommy for so many reasons but I want them to remember me as happy and healthy, I am both of those.

Whelp, I did it. It feels so refreshing to say it. I am right where I want to be. Now, the hard part begins. I have to keep the weight off. It is so much easier to just let it come back but it won't win me.

I joined weight watchers 6 weeks and 2 days after I had my twins. Really, after they were born I watched what I ate because I THOUGHT I couldn't join until 6 weeks after they were born. I mean, you can't go back to work until 6 weeks so I thought in my head same must go for any "dieting" program. Well, I was wrong. I could've joined the instant they were out of my body. But, it was probably best that I waited anyways. To heal and to get to know and focus on these two little people who didn't let us sleep. What so ever. At all. For 8 weeks straight.

I went into my first meeting. A meeting!? To lose weight? I was nervous and incredibly anxious but most importantly I thought this is what it will take to get MY body and feel amazing. So I joined on the old weight watchers momentum program. That was the last program weight watchers had before it changed. It's merely identical to the one now (points plus) the only difference is you can eat all the fruit and veggies you want until you're blue in the face. The last program you had to count your fruit in your daily "points" allotment. The other new thing on the new points plus program is that carbohydrates count and I am SO happy that that is being taken into consideration. So my leader calculated how many points I could have and she had me take a little test with information like my height, am I nursing, daily activity level (huh? I just change messy diapers and feed them) and I sat in on my first meeting. I don't know if my brain was really there or if it was back home wondering how the babies were doing, do they miss me? Are they crying? Is Ryan ok with three children vying for his every ounce of attention? To answer all those questions in one answer, the answer is yes to each one.

My first meeting and every single meeting from here on out has been so motivating. I sit there and listen and can relate to every single thing that comes out of every man and woman's mouth. I am not alone in my battle to be healthy! I feel normal here. Whatever I say, someone else feels exactly the same way. The key to losing weight was the meetings for me. It's my motivation factor. I tried online but I had little accountability and it was fun watching all of us work so hard for the same thing in the same room.

I right away created my "goal" weight. Basically, a healthy BMI (body mass index) for my height. I went on the higher end of my height spectrum. I had enough on my plate at the time and in my head it felt like less pressure (sounds like an excuse to me). I joined on May 5th in 2010 and had a average loss each week. I strived to do between 1-2lbs each week because I've learned the slower it comes off (as frustrating as it was) the longer it will stay off. Dramatic weight losses (5+lbs every week) you will gain it back fast and twice as much. I did have weeks where I gained and weeks that I had huge losses but all in all I knew what I had to do. It took me to December to reach my goal and become a lifetime member! I did it!!! Hip hip horray! I lost 54 lbs.!

IT IS SO DARN EASY. I could eat what I want in moderation (well really it's a human proportion rather then my 2039420934029 servings) and still lose weight. It's true. It's so true.

I went to Florida with my family in the middle of March of 2011. I started slacking and getting lazy there. When I returned home it was so easy to grab crap food that comforted me and made me sleepy. I started feeling angry about gaining about 9 pounds that I put back on from pure laziness. A friend and I were talking (she is also in weight watchers I won't reveal her name incase she would rather me not) and she told me the greatest thing. I don't know if she knows but it's changed my entire outlook on me. It's my focus. She has taught me how to get back on track right away. Not tomorrow or not Monday morning but RIGHT AT MY VERY WEAKEST POINT...she told me you just have to get mad. Mad!? That's it? Just the word MAD is all it took this entire time? Mad at yourself for quiting something you know that is working. Mad at jeans getting tight not because the dryer is shrinking them but because I am making poor choices. Just get MAD. Thank you. Thank you so much because you have helped me more then anything I have learned so far about myself just through that one word. Mad.