Just get MAD. Really MAD.

Leaving the hospital with my two babies

Florida and at my twins first birthday party!

This is NOT about gloating about myself or bragging but it's my journey that I've worked very hard for. I know there are PLENTY of people feeling some similar feelings and maybe reading my journey could help. If I can help one person, just one person I will feel like I saved the world!

My mission is not an image or about being skinny (even though fitting in jeans I could only dream of does make me feel pretty good) it's all about being healthy and feeling healthy. I do not want my children seeing me eat crap food (I do have special days for treats, I'm not perfect) but I want to encourage them to watch important information on the things they eat and to READ THE LABELS OF WHAT YOU EAT! I also want them seeing me happy and full of energy. I always wanted to be a young mommy for so many reasons but I want them to remember me as happy and healthy, I am both of those.

Whelp, I did it. It feels so refreshing to say it. I am right where I want to be. Now, the hard part begins. I have to keep the weight off. It is so much easier to just let it come back but it won't win me.

I joined weight watchers 6 weeks and 2 days after I had my twins. Really, after they were born I watched what I ate because I THOUGHT I couldn't join until 6 weeks after they were born. I mean, you can't go back to work until 6 weeks so I thought in my head same must go for any "dieting" program. Well, I was wrong. I could've joined the instant they were out of my body. But, it was probably best that I waited anyways. To heal and to get to know and focus on these two little people who didn't let us sleep. What so ever. At all. For 8 weeks straight.

I went into my first meeting. A meeting!? To lose weight? I was nervous and incredibly anxious but most importantly I thought this is what it will take to get MY body and feel amazing. So I joined on the old weight watchers momentum program. That was the last program weight watchers had before it changed. It's merely identical to the one now (points plus) the only difference is you can eat all the fruit and veggies you want until you're blue in the face. The last program you had to count your fruit in your daily "points" allotment. The other new thing on the new points plus program is that carbohydrates count and I am SO happy that that is being taken into consideration. So my leader calculated how many points I could have and she had me take a little test with information like my height, am I nursing, daily activity level (huh? I just change messy diapers and feed them) and I sat in on my first meeting. I don't know if my brain was really there or if it was back home wondering how the babies were doing, do they miss me? Are they crying? Is Ryan ok with three children vying for his every ounce of attention? To answer all those questions in one answer, the answer is yes to each one.

My first meeting and every single meeting from here on out has been so motivating. I sit there and listen and can relate to every single thing that comes out of every man and woman's mouth. I am not alone in my battle to be healthy! I feel normal here. Whatever I say, someone else feels exactly the same way. The key to losing weight was the meetings for me. It's my motivation factor. I tried online but I had little accountability and it was fun watching all of us work so hard for the same thing in the same room.

I right away created my "goal" weight. Basically, a healthy BMI (body mass index) for my height. I went on the higher end of my height spectrum. I had enough on my plate at the time and in my head it felt like less pressure (sounds like an excuse to me). I joined on May 5th in 2010 and had a average loss each week. I strived to do between 1-2lbs each week because I've learned the slower it comes off (as frustrating as it was) the longer it will stay off. Dramatic weight losses (5+lbs every week) you will gain it back fast and twice as much. I did have weeks where I gained and weeks that I had huge losses but all in all I knew what I had to do. It took me to December to reach my goal and become a lifetime member! I did it!!! Hip hip horray! I lost 54 lbs.!

IT IS SO DARN EASY. I could eat what I want in moderation (well really it's a human proportion rather then my 2039420934029 servings) and still lose weight. It's true. It's so true.

I went to Florida with my family in the middle of March of 2011. I started slacking and getting lazy there. When I returned home it was so easy to grab crap food that comforted me and made me sleepy. I started feeling angry about gaining about 9 pounds that I put back on from pure laziness. A friend and I were talking (she is also in weight watchers I won't reveal her name incase she would rather me not) and she told me the greatest thing. I don't know if she knows but it's changed my entire outlook on me. It's my focus. She has taught me how to get back on track right away. Not tomorrow or not Monday morning but RIGHT AT MY VERY WEAKEST POINT...she told me you just have to get mad. Mad!? That's it? Just the word MAD is all it took this entire time? Mad at yourself for quiting something you know that is working. Mad at jeans getting tight not because the dryer is shrinking them but because I am making poor choices. Just get MAD. Thank you. Thank you so much because you have helped me more then anything I have learned so far about myself just through that one word. Mad.

Cozy Cap Creations

When I was pregnant with the twins, I use to wonder what little hobby I could do. I tried a few things but it was a mess and our home isn't the largest to create my own personal space to contain my junk in one room. The extra room and spaces we had were mainly for toys. Many parents can relate to that. What's mine is there's and what's there's is...there's. The fall temps started to come in the end of September and I jumped on etsy.com. etsy.com is a handmade website where you can find anything and everything exactly the way you want it. Literally anything. It's mainly little shop artists willing to create whatever you want. So I started searching for matching hats for my three. After filling up my shopping cart on the website my total was $101.73. First thought was, how do I justify this and tell my husband the total. Then I started to think this is only THREE hats. I realized this was someone else's time and money into yarn but financially we couldn't swing it with twice the formula and twice the diapers and honestly it wasn't worth stressing my husband out. So I sadly cleared my shopping card.

That weekend I went to visit my parents with the kids. My parents live in Lake Orion, a town 45 minutes north of Detroit. I went to JoAnn fabrics with my little 40% off one non sale item and grabbed a ball or two of yarn. I sat down with my mother who taught me how to begin a hat. From there, I did it on my own. I began having friends and family asking for hats and my husband encouraged me to start up an etsy shop. THERE IT WAS!!! MY LITTLE NOOK! My craft. My hobby outside of changing diapers, filling and refilling sippies all day and cleaning up toys. Finally something for me. Last year I did 4 craft shows and it was seriously some of the most fun I've ever had! I love seeing everyone else's table and the response to my work, well, it just made me feel pretty good. It's definitely what I needed after being cooped up in the house while pregnant and especially after they were born.

My goal in my etsy shop was to create a price point reasonable for customers and to give people something unique that you couldn't find anywhere else!

A special thank you to Finn Photography (http://finnphotography.blogspot.com/) for all of her work and time she has help me put into my little business!

Going from three to five of us!?

The shirt I tried to wear for as long as I could. Good 'ol basketball t-shirt.Then came the red shirt that got me to the end. A little skin showed at the end but I was overly conscious and kept tugging it down.I made it to 37 weeks, to the very day. I have to find the photo but 35 and 37 I looked merely identical. Gigantic.This photo is before the wild things were born and we were taken back to the c-section.
Us with the two newest Ramsey family members. I could relive this day, over and over (repeat).

2 Years and 3 Months Later...

Clearly, my life over the past couple of years have been fun, crazy, emotional and truly some of the best ones ever. I haven't necessarily neglected this blog but I'd like to think...I just didn't have the time! So it may take awhile to catch you up if we aren't "friends on facebook."

Madelyn has grown leaps and bounds. I was reading and going over some of the posts I put on here awhile back and just sat in awe of the beautiful and intelligent girl she has become. She's a chatter box who literally, never stops talking. There are times that I will look at her, begging and pleading for her to JUST STOP TALKING. She always replys with some witty response. "Um, mom I'm not talking, I'm singing." I'd like to say she's your average three year old girl. She's happy, sassy and quite the little sneak. Eating is nonexsistent, sleeping? Well, that too. My parents laugh and tell I'm getting, exactly what I was.

And since the last blog I've had...twins! Yes, twins! The news was incredibly shocking when I received it MYSELF in the doctors office. Ryan had a golf outing and I went into the doctors office to get a routine beginner ultrasound to see about how far along I was. BEFORE this life changing ultrasound...well, I'm such a worry wart that even though the pregnancy tests were coming back positive (all 34932804928390 of them) I still wanted blood work done. So my doctor sent in the order forms to let me get blood work done to make sure this was a legitimate pregnancy. Poor doctor. My gut told me this pregnancy was just a little different. My day one blood work was in the range it should be according to the LMP so I went back for the second day of blood work to make sure my numbers were going up and they tripled. Um, tripled? What does it mean when it triples when they're only supposed to double? I quickly googled what it meant (google is the worst thing on the planet for people like me) and it said in most scenarios it meant its a multiple pregnancy. Wait, multiple pregnancy? We just thought we were trying for baby number two. Ho-lee-smokes. I called to talk to the nurse at the OB's and explained all the above, as she was listening she was laughing and said don't worry! It's not always the case. So, a few short days later I went in for my first baby appointment and well, I'll never ever in my entire life forget this:
Doctor: "There's the baby, measuring just like it should be"
Me: "Only one right?"
Doctor: "Hang on let me just move...opp there's another one"
Me: "Are you shitting me?"
Doctor: (laughing) "hang on let me measure, this one is measuring the same as the other"
Me: "There's no more in there, right?:
Doctor: glancing around, "nope, two's it."

I left there with a few photos in my hand feeling so happy, unsure and proud. Can I handle two babies, at once!? I sure can!

Two black circles. That meant two babies, currently taking residence inside my body. Well, that was just the beginning.

I have been through one wild journey. Madelyn is now 3 and the twins just turned one on March 22nd. They are one. I have a healthy 3 year and also 1 year old twins. I feel like the luckiest woman in the entire world.

Personally, I had those babies and I wanted MY body back. Is that even allowed to be in the same sentence? Babies and my body? I was bound and determined to. I had those babies and started that day. Food wasn't going to get me this time. It took me one year to do something about my body after Madelyn. I don't know if it was first baby syndrome or what. I spend that first year after Madelyn was born no necessarily depressed but in the slumps because I just didn't feel healthy or good about myself. It was never enough for me to do something about it. Around Maddie's first birthday I joined weight watchers and began to lose weight. I lost about 24 lbs and then got pregnant with the twins.

Since the twins were born I've lost 54 lbs and am back to me with some stretch marks and some excess twin skin. Those are their foot marks on my body. It's ok, for now!

I am now a weight watchers receptionist. Meaning I weigh people in, encourage them and do all the paper work. I start this Friday training to become a weight watcher leader. I can't believe it, I can actually be a leader! This was my goal from the start, being a leader. A leader is the one who runs the meetings and does pretty intense motivation for the group. I CAN'T WAIT! I feel great and I want others to feel this way, too.